May 2013
ukulelexy:
igobytori:
No, I’m not casually stalking the local grocery store to meet a cute cashier what kind of person do you think I am
TOOOOOORI I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU??
CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME BE HAPPY
No, I’m not casually stalking the local grocery store to meet a cute cashier what kind of person do you think I am
egberts:
viarga:
just-laff:
egberts:
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and...
so-letitbe:
pattinsin:
i actually have a fashion taste that is completly different from what i actually wear but i dont have enough confidence to wear what i really want to wear
THIS IS SO ME
yourbones:
somegirlnamedkaitlyn:
My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?
Nailed it.
verysiriuspotterhead:
egberts:
hudlionunshod:
egberts:
warhammer-of-cillyhoo:
egberts:
egberts:
my mom finally bought a toaster
why did this get notes
we’re happy for you
its just a toaster
Actually it is more than just a toaster; it is a short story. “Finally” denotes anticipation. “My mom” is character development: you have a mom. “Bought a toaster” is the clear...
njena:
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
himchanspenus:
Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
yugoslavic:
i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog
me: why does no one like me
person: i like you'
me: thanks
me: why does no one like me
tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe
skittyspostlimitblog:
sometimes my twelve year old little sister will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of girls that she’s a guy and she’ll make them think they’re dating and then she’ll have them all meet her in the same place at the same time and watch them get into catfights about who’s boyfriend she is and thats how my little sister became a cross-dressing evil mastermind pimp on club...
my english teacher: your essay isn't very well put together
me: my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations
kittykatastrophic:
marina-del-cyrus:
Whenever I get period cramps
I have never seen something so accurate in all my life…
aftershe:
egberts:
lets have a sleepover and ignore each other while we blog
and occasionally show eachother funny text posts
maydaykoigo:
curiouslyhigh:
bunnywith:
tahnoscheeks:
do you ever just get up from your computer to walk aimlessly around your house only to sit back down in front of the computer again
I pointlessly open the fridge too.
sometimes i just stand in the middle of the living room and look lost.
Why am I in the bathroom
solluxforpresident:
fuchsiatyrant:
fatkidinmath:
kazoothekid:
earljrsmith:
Google only has about .04 of the entire internet indexed. Let that sink in
What. What the fuck. WHERE IS THE REST OF THE INTERNET.
NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS OMG
google it
rabioheab:
dear diary,
i finally got to 15 followers on tumblr. i’m trying really hard to not let the fame get to my head but it’s difficult. today some lady at the supermarket asked me if i wanted paper or plastic bags and i just f*****cking lost it i am too famous for her questions. i can’t believe i haven’t been asked to do a magazine cover yet. i feel like it is coming soon.
a detailed list of people who have a crush on me:
tellerknowles:
does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
